This was THE MONTH THAT GOT AWAY. The first month so far that in reflection I’ve felt the time has not been the most wisely used. The month when I woke up late and got caught in social media scrolls. Throughout my entire sabbatical, this is the most “slothed” I have been. The two weeks upon my reaching Singapore were spent fully at home for recovery from pneumonia, and I did start meeting people in the third week. My motivation or inclination to do anything productive was low although now picking up.

This was the month I experienced a new emotion: SABBATICAL GUILT.

The guilt of having free time, and the nagging feeling and question of “AM I SPENDING MY PRECIOUS FREE TIME ON SABBATICAL WELL?”. And the feelings of stress from this did nothing at all to help me feel motivated to pick up new things and continue.

I swung back and forth on whether to continue with my travels which were meant to resume to LATAM on 8 June. To err on the extreme side of caution, my next trip has been postponed to ensure my lungs first fully recover, especially as the next trip would have been further and I do tend to push myself hard while travelling. I do feel guilt on this postponement decision however. Almost the same feel as when deciding to take MC at work while sick - the “am I sick enough to take an MC, do I push through? Is this me being weak?” vibe. But since the weekend I was meant to fly to LA was the weekend of the LA protests, perhaps it is for the best.

Travel has ironically sparked in me an interest in food?!

It might be a mix of observing how ingredients (such as salt) are farmed and made - simple things that we see stocked in supermarkets collected from nature, processed and sent all the way across the ocean to our little red dot. It also stems from having specific cravings while overseas, or just learning about the way different cultures prepare their food in accordance with what is available and to suit the climatic conditions. I’m learning to look closer at the ingredients we use at home, and also more focused on learning basic dishes from my mum while I’m in SG resting this month.